


Someone watching over me

by fanetjuh



Series: Shadowhunters AU Mondays [1]
Category: Shadowhunters (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Music, Alternate Universe - Summer Camp, F/M, Inspired by Music
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-09-02
Updated: 2017-09-02
Packaged: 2018-12-23 01:01:15
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 10
Words: 3,737
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11978802
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fanetjuh/pseuds/fanetjuh
Summary: Jace is determined to prove the commission of the Londen Academy of Arts and Music during a summer course that they have to let him in. Clary is dragged along by Simon to the same summer course, although she has not been able to sing ever since her mother died.But, sometimes, music and love can change everything.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Written for https://shadowhuntersaumondays.tumblr.com/

“Come on, Jace!” Isabelle raised her voice and crossed her arms over her chest. “After all the trouble you went through to get in, are you really going to stay in the car?” She cocked her head and Jace raised his eyebrows.

“I don’t even know how I got in.” He licked his lips. “It’s not like my application was that good.” He held onto the bag in his arms and pressed it to his chest.

“For you nothing is ever that good.” Isabelle stepped out of the car and pulled the door on his side open. “Maybe they can teach you some more realistic standards over here.” She grabbed her brother’s arm and forced him to step out. “You’re accepted into one of the most prestigious summer programs ever. You’re going there and you’re going to make the best of it.” She shut the door from the car again and placed her hands on Jace’s shoulder. “I will call you every week and we will all be at the final performance.” She kissed his cheek.

Before Jace realized what was happening, Isabelle had already stepped into the car again and without giving him the chance to change his mind she drove away. “Great…” He took a deep breath and stared at the huge building in front of him.

He had been dreaming about going here ever since he was a little kid. He had always thought that he wasn’t good enough, that he would never be good enough, but here he was.

It was only the summer program, but he knew how it worked. If he would make an impression here, he wouldn't have to audition anymore.


	2. Chapter 2

“Here we are.” Simon parked the car on the gigantic parking lot.

“Here we are…” Clary swallowed.

When she had gotten the letter that she had gotten into the prestigious summer program of the Royal Academy of Music and Arts in London she had really thought that this was going to be the best summer of her life. But if she had known that her mother wouldn’t be there anymore to see her perform by the end of the course, she wouldn’t have sent the application in the first place. And after everything that had happened, she didn’t think she would have gone if Simon had not been there too.

“It’s going to be amazing.” Simon curled his lips up into a smile. “I know that it probably doesn’t feel amazing right now and I know that singing is the last thing you want to think about, but trust me, summer distractions are the best way to get over…” He hesitated.

“To get over what, Simon?” Clary crossed her arms over her chest. “My mother’s death? The fact that I’m an orphan now?” She raised her eyebrows and she tried to fight back the tears burning in her eyes.

“I know that the wound is still fresh, I do, trust me, but your mother wouldn’t want you to sit at home while you could have been here too. It’s the Royal Academy of Music and Arts in London!” He threw his hands in the air. “It’s a once in a lifetime chance, Clary.”

“But it doesn’t mean anything without my mom.” Clary stepped out of the car and she grabbed her bag and threw it over her shoulder. She had not sang a tone since she had lost her mother and now she was supposed to sing here?

Like that was going to happen.


	3. Chapter 3

“Welcome new students to this year’s summer course!” The professor in front of the class was young, much younger than Jace had expected his professors to be. “Today we will introduce ourselves to each other and then I will explain what the upcoming weeks will look like.” He curled his lips up into a smile and he reached for the list on the desk in front of him. “Jace Herondale?” He looked up and Jace stood up from his seat.

The palms of his hands were sweating a little, but he straightened his back and with his chin lifted he walked towards the piano. “I’m Jace Herondale and I play piano.” He licked his lips and sat down while he placed his fingers on the keys.

The keys felt a little cold and the adrenaline was rushing through his veins. This was his chance. This was his chance to prove that he had gotten in here for a reason. This was his chance to show the professor that he deserved more than a summer course.

His lips were forming a straight line while his fingers danced over the keys. He had composed the piece at home, making sure it would show off his excellent technique and that he could totally deal with complicated motives. When he managed to make it through the piece without even one mistake he eventually dared to smile.

“Thank you, Mister Herondale.” The teacher and the entire class applauded and Jace bent his head slightly. “That was really impressive, although I do miss a layer of emotions in your piece.” He paused for a moment. “It all felt a little flat.”

The smile on Jace’s face faded.

“For the upcoming two weeks I want you to compose a piece that doesn’t show off skill, I’ve heard clearly that you have it, but I want to hear a piece that does express emotion.”

Jace swallowed. He tensed all his muscles and he hated the horrible taste in his mouth. But he didn't protest. Instead he stood up and nodded. "Thank you. I will do my best." He just had no idea where to start.


	4. Chapter 4

Clary’s heart was racing in her chest. Her hands started to hurt from applauding and the more students around her had already shown their skills, the more nervous she started to become. Sooner or later it would be her turn and then she would have to sing in front of this room after she had not sang for weeks. She didn’t even know what song she wanted to do. She had not even thought about it. She had not thought about anything.

“Clarissa Fairchild.” The teacher in front of the class smiled while his eyes rested on her.

“It’s Clary, Clary Fray.” She stood up from her chair and her knees were trembling while she walked down the three stairs that lead to her place. “That’s how my mother used to call me.” She felt her hands shaking and once more she took a deep breath while she turned around to face the other students. “I sing.” Her voice was nothing but a small whisper and her chest was moving up and down rapidly.

“Clary?”

She had no idea how much time had passed when the teacher interrupted her thoughts.

“Is everything okay? You’re an amazing singer. I saw that on your video, there is nothing to be afraid of.” He placed a hand on her shoulder and Clary nodded, but no matter how much she tried she couldn't managed to sing the first tone.

She couldn’t even come up with a song to sing. “I can’t… I can’t do it…” Clary shook her head and she wanted to leave the classroom, but her muscles refused to do something, her legs refused to move.

“Clary’s mother died and she always sang for her mother.” Simon spoke softly while Clary felt the tears rolling down her cheeks. “She told me that she hasn’t been singing since then and I thought that brining her here was a good idea, but I don’t know, maybe it wasn’t.”

For a moment there was nothing but silence.

“Art is emotion and emotion is art.” The teacher locked his glance with Jace, the blond haired piano player that had been amazing. “Jace and Clary, why don’t you two combine forces? Create a song for your mother, for everything you feel. You didn’t use to sing for her. You still are.”

Clary sniffed, but she felt Simon’s arm around her shoulders to guide her back to her seat. “Thank you for not sending me away…” She eventually murmured and the teacher curled his lips up into a smile.

“I’m not going to send away a talented student because she is afraid of being overwhelmed by her emotions. I’m gonna teach her how to use her emotions to become an even better musician.”


	5. Chapter 5

Jace sat behind the piano, his fingers dancing over the keys to pass the time. The last three days he and Clary had sat here in absolute silence, both not really knowing where to start. He could play tunes. He could create a thousand different motives, but she was the one who needed to give it meaning.

And right now she was not saying anything. She was just leaning on her elbow, staring to who knew what.

“This summer course is important to me.” Jace stood up from his stool. “I want to get into this school, you know?” He sat down in the chair next to her. “I’m technically one of the best players my age, but it seems that technique is not what they’re looking for.” He leaned back and let out a deep sigh. “But if you and I don’t come up with something, I could have stayed at home, because then all of this has been for absolutely nothing.”

“I lost my mother, Jace!” Clary raised her voice and her lips were forming a straight line. “Do you have any idea what that feels like?”

Jace raised his eyebrows. He had lost his mother before he had gotten the chance to know her. He had lost his father when he was only ten. “I know exactly what you’re talking about. I don’t know anything about your mother, but most parents want their kid to move on and be happy.”

“I can’t just forget about her.” Clary crossed her arms over her chest and shook her head. “She is the one who taught me how to sing. She was the one who made the video that got me into this program.”

“And right now her ghost is probably yelling at you because you’re wasting your chance and my time.” Jace rolled his eyes. “Look, I’m horrible with feelings. But according to that video you’re not.”

“What do you want me to then?” Clary let out a deep sigh. “I’ve never composed a song before. I don’t even know where to start.”

“Why don’t you start with telling…” Jace stopped in the middle of his sentence. “I have a better idea. Why don’t you start with singing about your mother?”

“You want me to sing about her? Without preparing?”

“Just sing about her. Who she was, what she was like.” He stood up again and walked back to the piano. “It’s called improvisation. It’s a great way to start composing. I’ll help you.” He took a deep breath and after he had pressed the record button on his iPhone he placed his hands on the keys again. “Just sing what crosses your mind. It doesn’t need to be good. Just sing something.”


	6. Chapter 6

Clary took a deep breath and she opened her mouth. She had no idea where to start. She wanted to say or sing so many things at once and then she didn’t want to sing at all. She felt the tears burning in her eyes and she clenched her fists while she tried to focus on her breathing, like her mom had taught her. A sniff escaped her lips when tears started to roll down her cheeks. “I’m sorry…”

“It’s okay. We have all afternoon. And tomorrow. And the day after tomorrow. The concert is in 10 days.” Jace kept on playing. He changed from one scale to another, changed the rhythm, changed everything.

“I don’t know where to start.” Clary tasted the salt on her lips. She was afraid that even if she would eventually find the courage to sing, her voice would sound horrible.

“What did your mom do for you? Why do you love her this much?” Jace looked up at her while his hands kept on playing. “Just sing something. Even if it’s nothing but her name.”

Clary stood up from her seat and closed her eyes. While she thought about her mother and the tears rolled down her cheeks she started singing. First she sang nothing but her name, like Jace had said, that she started to sing other things.

Her mother had been the one to raise her, to take care of her. Her mother had read her bedtime stories, had driven her to school and to all those clubs she wanted to be a part of. Her mother had done everything on her own, had been a father and a mother at once.

A smile spread across Clary’s lips, despite the salted tears on her cheeks, despite the hole in her heart, despite the grief and the pain. She sang about everything that she could think of. She sang about all those times her mother had taken her to the pond near their house. She sang about all those times they sang together and she sang about how she hoped that somehow her mother could still see her, could still love her, even though she was no longer here to hold Clary in her arms.

Clary had no idea how much time had passed when she eventually stopped. Her throat was dry and a little soar but the heavy weight from her chest was lifted. “I’m such a mess…” She felt the tears rolling down her neck and she didn’t doubt that her make up was everywhere apart from where it should be.

“No, you’re not.” Jace stood up from his stool. His lips were forming a straight line and a few dried tears blinked on his cheeks. “It was beautiful.” He paused for a moment and then he reached for Clary’s hands. “Thank you for sharing this with me. We’re gonna make a few beautiful songs for your mother. You and I. Together.” He squeezed her hands gently. “I promise.”

“Thank you…” Clary smiled through her tears. “I was afraid I’d never sing again. You helped me to sing again.”

“No, you did that yourself. With the help of your mother.”


	7. Chapter 7

“So…” Jace sat down behind the piano and looked up at Clary. “How has the singing thing been going?” He curled his lips up into a smile while he placed a folder with handwritten music in front of him. “I’ve heard quite some people about your voice.”

“Yes, it’s back. On full force.” Clary wore a smile Jace had never seen before. There was still a hint of sadness in her eyes. “It’s weird, but all those months I’ve been missing my mom and therefore I couldn’t sing, but now I’ve been singing again it feels like she’s closer than she has been ever since she died.” She shrugged her shoulders and tucked a strand of hair behind her ear. “I didn’t know music could do that.”

Jace kept silent for a moment. “My dad taught me how to play piano.” He paused and placed his fingers on the keys. “Whenever I made a mistake he hit me. For each next one he hit me harder. He hit me until I never made any mistakes anymore.” He hesitated. “He told me that emotions were nothing but a distraction.”

“Jace…” Clary walked towards him and placed a hand on his shoulder. “I’m so sorry that happened to you, because that’s not how music is supposed to be.” She shook her head. “Music is emotion and human and real and that means that sometimes you make mistakes, that sometimes my voice doesn’t do what I want it to to do, that Simon sometimes hits the wrong string and…”

“That I sometimes play the wrong tone.” Jace sighed. “I know. It’s something I know. I’ve always known it.” He opened the folder in front of him. “I wrote us something.”

“Why don’t you play it without the music? You composed it.” Clary grabbed the folder and took it away from the piano. “Play it from your memory, with your eyes closed, and if you miss a tone I won’t judge, I promise.” She sat down in a comfortable chair not too far away from him and nervously he started playing.


	8. Chapter 8

Clary held her breath while Jace started playing. She didn’t want to know how often he had listened to his recording of her telling him her mother’s story, singing him her mother’s story. But somehow she heard herself back, even though she wasn’t singing anything yet.

He missed a few tones.

She wouldn’t have noticed if he had not frowned a little every time he did so, but she thought it only made the song sound more like her and more like her mother and maybe a little more like him too.

He had been talented on the first day. His fingers had moved faster over the keys than anyone else’s. He had played complicated motives as if they were the simplest thing in the entire world. But his music had lacked something. Something he had now found.

“That was…” Clary didn’t realize that the tears were rolling down her cheeks until they dripped into her shirt. “Breathtaking beautiful.” She stood up from her seat and wiped her tears away while she took a deep breath. “My mom would have loved it and I hope she can somehow hear it. And I can’t wait to find out what Simon thinks of it, because he was afraid I wouldn’t make it.” Clary placed Jace’s folder on one of the standards. “I want to sing with you.” She turned her face towards Jace and Jace nodded.

“I already hoped you’d say that. Else this whole assignment would become one big failure.” Jace grinned. “And I enjoy those music sessions with you, but I still want to get into this school and not just their summer program.”

“You’ll make it, Jace.” Clary smiled a little brighter and then she took a deep breath. “If you play at the concert like you just played for me, they can’t do anything but accepting you.”

“I hope they pick you too.” Jace spoke softly and he bent his head, acting like he was staring at his fingers while he positioned them.

“You do?” Clary cocked her head. “Because you think I’m an amazing singer? Or because you want to see me more often even after all those sob stories about my mom?”

“I think it’s both.”


	9. Chapter 9

Jace felt his heart hammering in his chest. He had never been nervous before. Maybe because he had never played something that was so personal before. He couldn’t wait to hear what Isabelle, Alec and Max would think of his new style. He also couldn’t wait to hear if he would get into the main program either, although he knew that could take a few more days.

“Are you ready?” Clary curled her fingers around his wrist. The palms of her hands were sweating and her knees were slightly shaking.

“I’m not the one who needs to sing. I’m fine.” He shrugged his shoulders, but he knew his voice didn’t sound as steady as it normally did. “Are you ready?” He turned towards her and he grabbed her upper arm to gave her an encouraging squeeze.

“I wished my mom was here, in that audience.” Clary’s lips formed a straight line and she swallowed. “Luke came. Luke has always been like a father for me and I know that he loved my mother almost as much as I did. I hope he’ll like it.”

“I know he will.” Jace nodded at her and for a moment he stared straight into her eyes. He had come here to get into this school, maybe to even get a scholarship, but somehow he got the feeling that he had found so much more than that. “Thank you for everything, Clary Fray.” He let her name roll of his tongue as if it was a song in itself and then he pressed his forehead to hers. “I really hope to see you here in september again.”

For a moment Clary didn’t say anything, but then she leaned on the tips of her toes and she pressed the palm of her hand to his cheek. “Thank you for giving me my voice back, Jace Herondale.” Her lips kissed his and automatically he felt his arms sliding around her waist.


	10. Chapter 10

Clary’s lips were still tingling when she entered the stage, but she had them curled up into a smile. She still felt the hole in her heart. She still felt the sadness lingering beneath her skin, but it was different now.

It was not just sadness anymore. It was not just that hole anymore. It was the sadness and that hole and so much more.

She looked over her shoulder and while Clary’s fingers curled around the microphone they exchanged a glance. She didn’t know if she would see him again. She didn’t know if he would get in. She didn’t know if she would get in.

But it didn’t matter.

What mattered was that she had found a way to keep her mother close, even though she was not here anymore. What mattered was that she had discovered that her mother was not just the one who had taught her how to sing.

Her mother was the song and each and every time Clary would sing, no matter where it would be, her mother would be with her.

She took a deep breath and licked her lips when Jace started to play the first chords and then she just let her emotions flow. She would never forget this. She would carry this moment with her for the rest of her life, she would carry this music with her for the rest of her life and maybe, maybe these songs could help others who felt exactly alike and didn’t have the music to turn the wounds into scars.

Clary closed her eyes and didn’t think about anything anymore. She didn't think about the jury anymore. It was her moment, her moment with her mom. She didn’t think about the words anymore. It were her words, her words for her mom. And she didn’t think about hitting the right tones anymore. It was her song, her song for her mom.


End file.
